i try,but i cant to more hope!

This story still about my relationship with somebody is so far away with me.ya.about him!
Last week,in 26 of august,we had our anniversary 1 month.
So happy,but...I don't know.what I will get from everything I try to built.
Like useless..unwork and kind of that.

Now is 3 of september 2010.
Honestly,I started to feel everything is more impposible when 1 of september.
When september just came.
Ya Allah,why u gave him for me?
Ya Allah,why u sent him to compain me now?
That's always around in my mind..
If you wanna answer,
That because you know he can make me open my heart for anyone again?
Because you know he can make me happy so you sent him to compain me?

Actually,maybe you right my dear god.he's can make me opened my heart AGAIN.
He can make me happy everytime with him..
But in the fact,evrything feel so fake!
Fake in my eyes,in my heart,in my mind.
And unfortunately I fell in love!that's my unlucky.
So unlucky to fell in love with someone I can't see and I can't feel.
Unlucky,I can't to watch him everytime I want,I can't to know the real thing about him.I can't to see him averytime I want,I can't to holding my hand with him.even I never do that with anybody before.I mean with my xboyfriend.even I never do that..

He's so crime to make me loving him even I don't know,he love me like a real relation or just a fake.

Ok,did u fawad?
Did u gave me your fake heart feeling?
Did u gave me your fake smile?
Did u gave me your fake love?
Everything is fake?
Please answer with big no-no :')

I try to make easier,I try to keep you stay with me untill the right time is come...
And I know,
I really-really know..that everything I try is make me won't to make a big wishes..